A few of the comments in Natala’s final post were confessions…of people, of pastors who struggle with sexual addictions...there were many comments and emails from people who wondered what to do with their own bondage to judgment, fears, and addictive behaviors that encase souls, destroy lives and deaden hearts…
Looking truth full in the face takes courage and profound humility as we admit our brokenness…
Jesus will meet our eyes as we reveal that which we have kept hidden…Jesus knows our secrets and longs to mend our souls…
Imagine the dusty courtyard, as Jesus looked down at the woman caught in adultery, thrown on the ground before him, awaiting condemnation and death…
Imagine his tender and knowing gaze…did she have the courage to glance up or was she curled up in a ball to protect herself from the oncoming stones…Jesus looked at the angry crown and said to the accusing onlookers, to the‘righteous ones,’ “Let him who is without sin, cast the first stone..."
Then slowly, in the thickening silence the woman heard a thud…as the dust from a dropped stone, spattered on her hands and mixed with the tears of fear and sorrow as they streamed down her face...as the oldest rabbi, turned and walked away…and then another thud, and two more… as those who knew their own sin and struggles faced the truth… “this woman, who we have condemned as vile is not that different from me."
I wonder if Jesus met the eyes of her accusers and in a knowing silence, saw the truth about their inner world, their struggles and the places that each of them had illegitimately and thus sinfully sought solace from the harsh Roman world, relief from the disappointing absence of the long awaited Messiah, or a break from the stringent codes of Levite law that could be so oppressive at times.
And I wonder if as they felt seen and know there was no longer the ability to condemn either the woman or themselves.
We have been taught to judge those who are different from us, conditioned to divide people into categories of good or bad based on actions and lifestyles that have been deemed right or wrong… and I simply do not see Jesus doing this.
Throughout the gospels he treated everyone with kindness and acceptance regardless of their lifestyle and deeds, and in doing so he touched the dignity within them, the spark of the divine image smoldering deep within their souls and rekindling it, awakening them to who they were created to be…this was the way of Jesus, not words of judgment and shunning, not division of acceptable and unacceptable groups to hang out with, share a meal, laugh with, listen to, or show love towards.
The only group of people that I see Jesus speaking harsh words to are the religious folks, who are so caught up in their own righteousness that they judge and exclude and condemn others…including Jesus.
Please read the next 2 paragraphs:
I am not saying that there is no right and wrong, that there are not actions and deeds that are grievous and destructive to ones own soul and life as well as others. I firmly believe that some actions and choices more heinous than others, that some have devastating consequences for those involved.
I am saying that it is not our place to judge people, to treat them without the love and dignity that Jesus did because they have chosen a path of foolish and destructive actions. I am saying that we are called to a higher standard...the standard of love.
While Jesus was firm and clear about the ways of life that lead to destruction, he never treated people with disdain or disgust, but with a sorrow for their bondage and a hope and call to their created purpose. Somehow Jesus walked the razor’s edge of honesty and love…bold love…
A bold love that spoke difficult words,
Words that named the truth
The decay and destruction
Of actions
Choices
Words
A bold love that called forth
Dignity
Desire
Destiny
Rather than condemn and cast aside
Love that was active and accepting
While piercing and expecting at the same time
And tender and merciful in its strength…
This is the love we are called to, this is the lens through which we are to see our brothers and sisters, regardless of their deeds, without denying the fallout of destructive choices.
There are a few necessary questions to ask ourselves whenever we think about addictions…
Are we accusers… or are we fellow addicts, with a drug of a different choice?
Are we pointing fingers or are we coming alongside and admitting that we struggle too with an overwhelming desire for relief…for a moment of oblivion?
Are we willing to face our prison of pretense?
Are we willing to be honest…
about our fear of the Light,
that threatens to undo us in its brightness and expose our strategies for control and relief?
Are we willing to admit…
our hesitancy to walk away from the temporary satiation of relief?
Are we willing to name…
our terror, our racing heart, our sweaty palms that come with facing the pain of our stories, admitting the truth of our actions, embracing the sorrow of reality?
The snare of addictions is clever, binding, and deceptive…
And we are often like the proverbial frog in the pot of water, who isn’t aware of the increasing heat until it is too late…we underestimate the power and draw of our addictions until we are in way too far over our heads, still convinced that we can pull out at any time…regroup and “be fine” with just a few “easy” changes.
And thus, we deceive ourselves…
Susie this is very powerful. Together with what I have experienced and learned over the past days in my Story workshop, there is much here that helps me take joy in my own story, in the stories of others. There is much here that encourages, challenges, and calls me/us to holiness with vulnerability, honesty and humility.
Thank you for these powerful posts.
Posted by: stephanie | August 17, 2005 at 05:24 PM
Brilliant!
This particularly spoke to me:
Are we willing to be honest…about our fear of the Light, that threatens to undo us in its brightness and expose our strategies for control and relief?
Sometimes the Light fills me with fear. Fear of rejection mostly. It's horrible. My knowledge and experience of God says it's based on a lie, but the fear remains. It paralyses me if I let it.
Yet when I choose to step into the Light - it's wonderful amazing and not blinding at all,.
Thank you for these courageous posts. Bless you
Posted by: Lorna | August 19, 2005 at 11:34 AM