Kushner, Lawrence: God was in this Place and I, i did not know
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After removing the images of Beverly Collins artwork "The Invisible Women of Darfur," from my blog, I received a follow-up phone call from her stating that she was unaware of the way that a blog worked and now that she understood the differences between a blog and a website, she was granting permission for me to use her images on my blog, because of her desire that this story be told and her knowledge that posting the images would help this happen... (how cool is that! a follow-up call and an apology for making a mistake to begin with, i was thrilled to get her message... thanks beverly ;)
...and i cannot think of a more eloquent and haunting way to tell the story, than through her paintings of the women who have become invisible and forgotten in the wake of the war Sudan. Sexual violence and systematic rape are used as weapons of terror against the women and girls, they are part of the strategy of war.
All the paintings are hauntingly beautiful, but these few specifically speak to me, capture me, haunt me, and require some response from me...for they tell a tragic truth of our sisters in Darfur, Sudan, and they resonate with the universal story of pain and loss in the human experience...
Oppression ~ "As you have raped me, please don't leave me alive...the shame I will suffer upon my return will be too great."
Invisible ~ "Invisible though I am...I am and I will prevail."
Together ~ "Together with out collective strength we will endure the loneliness and that shame that has been cast upon us through no fault of our own."
Those of you who linked to her website, this post and/or posted images on your own blog...please do so, as the more people who see these images the better, and the more awareness we will build...
(if you post on these paintings, the images are be limited to three and the size must be no larger than 150 pixels as per the artists permission for blog posting)
Caroline Ramsey has been blogging about leadership...a fantastic and interesting discussion that has spilled over into other blogs...
in her latest post, Wes posed the following question about presence:
"Having lunch today with one of the young emerging business leaders of our community, what you wrote was part of the topic of our conversation. "Presence" is a significant missing element in the development of many relationships...especially, it seems...among many leaders. My friend today asked, since were on the topic even before reading your blog, "Can 'presence' be taught...or only modeled, experienced, and thus taught?" What would your answer be if you had been in on the conversation?"
and I responded with the following comment:
"imho, i think presence mus be modeled... that is the Hebraic way as talked about in Deuteronomy, "as you sit, as you walk by the way" as well as the way that Jesus, the Hebrew, taught and led his disciples and followers during his time on earth. I think that "presence," our truly being aware and engaged in the moment with another's life, story, journey, thoughts, ideas, struggles, etc is the fundamental part of leadership that makes mankind essentially not a machine! Presence is the offering of the soul, of the senses and what causes people to want to follow and to share..."
How would you answer Wes' question?
I wonder about the church today, if we can really make the shift from the top down hierarchical structure that has become familiar and accepted, even "ordained" as inspired, divine, and thus right.
Can we shift from this to something that honors the reality that the Divine indwells each of us and that the Body is interdependent, without any part that does not need to follow at some point in time? Interdependence assumes a fluidity to leadership, an ebb and flow that fits each circumstance. Will we be able to meet the changes that are already shifting the sands of time and culture and restructure our churches to minister, to be salt and light in the midst of the changes rather than resist them in fear of the unknown and the untried?
As I read the gospels, I see Jesus often doing the unconventional, challenging the "way we have always done it" but not getting bogged down with doing it only one way. For example, once He said to the blind man, "Be healed!" And the blind man was healed. So does this mean that each and every time there is a blind man, that healing comes according to this formula, quick someone write this down! ;)
Except, another time, when a blind man was brought to Jesus , he bent down and spit in the dirt, (yes, Jesus spit, my son loved this verse as a kid;) and then Jesus made a paste of mud and spit and put it on the man's eyes... Then he told the blind man to go to the water and wash it off...(i am assuming that the friends who brought the blind man to Jesus took him to the water, if they were hoping for the quick two word healing they were surely disappointed).
Here we have a three step process for healing the blind: 1) spit on the ground & make a mud paste 2) smear mud paste on blind eyes 3) send blind man to wash off paste... Which method goes in the healing manual? If we include both, how do we know when to use which method?
I love that throughout the Gospels there are many stories where Jesus was confronted with similar situations, that he often did not handle in the same way. imho this is so that we could not come up with a formula for How to: ____ and forget that we need to be present to the moment, to the person who we are engaged with, and most of all forget to be involved in a relationship with Jesus, indwelt by the Holy Spirit, so that we might know how to best serve in any given situation.
I know that the term "servant leadership" has become popular, and i hope it does not become so overused that it loses its profound meaning... that in laying aside our rights, our position, our rightful place, we can be present to another and begin to really hear, see, discern their needs and by the grace of G-d, we can serve them... this is leadership after the way of Jesus and it requires a profound ability to be present in body, mind and soul...
The Sorting Hat site has revealed that I am a Griffyndor. Both my daughters thought they would be Ravenclaws, the intellectually oriented house, but once they took the test, their answers revealed that both were also Griffyndors. This result surprised them a bit, but not me as their first gut-felt answers leaned toward bravery, taking risks and being loyal over being smart or intellectually guided. Though they are both terribly intelligent in very different ways;)
Without a doubt, my son is a Griffyndor, from the earliest age he loved people and is truly 'lion-hearted,' which may make his high-school years a bit difficult to navigate as he is not fully comfortable in his own skin just yet...
On being geeks...well, at lunch today, my oldest daughter, kate and i, were discussing Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince quite animatedly...we picked apart different parts of the story, discussed what we thought about the interesting turn of events, conjectured about the slight of hand that may be revealed in the end and the other possible unfolding of the story in book seven. Then we launched into sharing out thoughts and feelings about various characters in the series, and suddenly she looked up to see her boyfriend roll his eyes...she laughed aloud and proclaimed, "I know, we are such geeks!" i returned her laughter, winked at her boyfriend and the conversation took off for another 15 minutes as i told her about the sorting hat site that i had found via inner dorothy, sue's blog, at St.Casserole's blogsite, and then all of us had to jump on the site and see what house the kids were in!
i have always been a reading geek! (i now wish i was a techo geek as well and need to call and apologize and pay homage to every techno geek i ever gave a hard time to while in high school..., but that is another story, another post;)
So for fun take the test and then comment below what house the Sorting Hat would place you in! btw, you do not need to have any knowledge of the Harry Potter books to take the Sorting Hat test!
I just finished Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince, the 6th book in the Harry Potter Series, by JK Rowling. We have one copy, my oldest daughter ordered it ahead of time and it arrived the morning of the release. She read it quickly, and currently Zack and I are sharing it. We keep trading off, and this moring we had a brief time when i convinced him that since we were on the same page, we should read together for a bit... so we sat on the big chair and read... my long lanky teenage son and me...just like old times...except he wasn't really snuggling and we were both reading silently... he commented once or twice that it felt kinda silly...i imagine that his remarks were provoked my my beaming face, as it has been a while since we have read together, but the lure of Harry Potter outweighed his momentary awkwardness.
We sat there for the better part of an hour, until his stomach began to rumble loudly... i tried to read a bit slower, so not to embarrass him or put undue pressure on him to read faster, but once he got up to eat breakfast, i raced through the chapters, consuming as much of the story as i could before he returned, flashed his charming smile and asked if he could read the book now...please ;D
so the day unfolded with us trading the book back and forth, as i secretly hoped that his friends would call and ask him to go to the pool, i mean how could i not give him the book, when i am always on him to read more... and here he is wanting to read, so i couldn't really say no and keep reading it myself... though i did put him off a few times...
True confession...i was thrilled when his buddies called and asked him to go out for the evening... and i had the book all to myself... i holed up in the sunroom and devoured the rest of the book. JK Rowling does not disappoint in this book. The ending is unexpected, hard and sad. i will not say alot, so as not to ruin it for those who are mid book...
I know that there is a lot of contorvery surrounding these books and that the conservative evangelial community have condemned them as promoting the occult. This is simply not true. Wizardry and magic are only part of the story, not unlike The Lord of the Rings by J. R. R. Tolkien or The Chronicles of Narnia, by C. S. Lewis. Like these classic stories, the Harry Potter series is a tale of good and evil, of the ultimate power of love over all that is dark, evil, and destructive, the importance of friendship, bravery, lack of prejudice...all good and godly lessons. So, I have to disagree with those who condemn these books. The themes of loyalty, integrity, and love are the greatest forces in battle aganst evil, are thems of the Christian faith.
Once you read it, email me and we can chat about it... it is just so hard to hold it in and yet i don't want to give anything away... like who the half blood prince is... (my guess was wrong), what Malfoy is really up to, the true nature of Snape, and if Harry gets the girl? ;D
Otherwise, if you are reading it, let me know where you are in the book inthe comments below and what you think so far....
A few days ago, I posted on the ONE campaign's plea for everyone to contact their Senators and urge them to approve the Sanatorium-Durbin. The phone lines on Capitol Hill were flooded with over 23,000 calls and on Tuesday, the Senate voted $100 million more for the life saving efforts of the Global Fund to Fight AIDS, TB, and Malaria. Read the update on the ONE blog.
The Sanatorium-Durbin provides that the US will contribute a total of $600 million to the Global Fund next year. In the weeks ahead, the amendment needs to pass the House of Representatives. The US also encourages international participation in the Global Fund, requiring that every US dollar contributed to the fund, be matched by $2.00 from international contributors. Additionally, the Global Fund has instituted a system of checks and balances to fight potential corruption and ensure that the funds received are disbursed properly and that funding reaches those most in need.
The Global Fund uses the funds in some of the following ways:
In Nigeria, tens of millions of doses of a newly, highly effective malaria medication will be distributed, whereas just two years ago only 10,000 doses were available in all of Africa. In Mozambique, more than 55,000 people will receive life-saving AIDS treatment, which will help them remain healthy and alive long enough to raise their children, tend their farms, raise crops and build businesses and communities.
In Kenya, the Global Fund supports the The Kenya Network of Women with HIV/AIDS (KENWA). KENWA is a community-based organization formed and run by women living with HIV/AIDS. It is currently reaching about 470,000 people through a country-wide membership of 2,430 women.
With its US$ 220’875 share of the US$ 137 million approved over two years by the Global Fund to finance HIV/AIDS activities in Kenya, KENWA offers counseling, home-based care and psycho-social support in some of the most deprived slum areas of Nairobi.
KENWA runs six drop-in centers which serve as information, dissemination and walk-in counseling centers for the general public and cater mainly to HIV-infected women as well as orphaned and vulnerable children.
Thanks to everyone who made phone call, just thought you might want to know how it turned out and where the funding goes.
Smith College professor, Eric Reeves, provides a week long crash course: "Darfur 101" for those of us who are still trying to gain some understanding of what is happening in Darfur, Sudan. This link will take you to the third installment, but if you scroll down, you can read parts 1 & 2. Eric Reeves has been fighting for two years to bring the Darfur, Sudan situation to public attention. This crash course is a terrific overview so far.
As i said in my last post, i am not writing about Darfur, Sudan, only because i have nothing else to write about...but because i have captured by the truth of the tragedy and i have become convicted by the G-d of justice, who in Micah 6:8 clearly says, "He has shown thee, Oh man, what is good and what the Lord requires of thee, but to do justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with Thy G-d."
I have known this verse for years, mostly because of the praise song which is why i can recite it from memory as above... and back in the day when i used to do cross stitch...(yes, i used to cross stitch, no laughing, now... years ago when i was put on bed rest with my first pregnancy, i cross-stitched up a storm...cause i was a 'good little conservative, christian, suburban, homemaker," trying desperately to fit in at 22 years old;) and all the ladies in my bible study were cross stitching).
but i digress... back in the day when i used to cross stitch, i once cross stitched part of this verse for my husband, who seemed to live it out so elegantly, thus, the words "walk humbly with thy God" have been displayed somewhere in our home for the better part of 20 years...and as i think about this verse now, i wonder if i really ever thought about what G-d meant by the words "do justice." i don't think so, really...until now
these are not words that call me to ..."enact justice on those who wrong me," or words that grant me permission to "be Judgemental" and they are certainly not an admonition to "act in the name of G-d as a vigilante police force and judge those who are not measuring up to the standard of 'the church' or our 'correct' interpretation of the Scriptures." (all of which i have been guilty of at some point in my christian life, i am sorrowful and ashamed to say). No, i think these words are a call to act on behalf of others, for their benefit when i encounter them being treated with injustice...
and that is why i am writing, again, about the genocide in Darfur. When, I saw the movie Hotel Rwanda, i realized that in 1994, i was more concerned about what preschool my son was going to attend than the reality that people... that children were being massacred with machetes because they were members of the 'wrong' tribe, and i knew that i never wanted to be so blind to reality again.
I am not saying that it is not important to be aware where my son would go to preschool, but realizing that i was so consumed with my own little life that i did not know what was going on in the world, for far too many years brought me great shame and that shame brought repentance... and i have purposed myself to become aware and to do what i can to make a difference, even if it is only a small difference.
I have struggled with opening my eyes. They hurt.
I am reminded of a scene in the Matrix, when Neo first wakes up on the Nebecanezzer, and sees Morpheus. Neo says, "My eyes hurt." Morpheus nods knowingly, and calmly states..."that is because you have never really used them before."
I use this analogy quite often in my private practice, as i try to reassure and encourage those brave souls who open their eyes and face the truth of their stories, their painful pasts and their own sin and its consequential fallout...Now i am aware how profoundly i can relate to this scene. In opening my eyes, i see injustice everywhere...
And the pain tempts me to close them again...
But the call in Micah links "doing justice" to pleasing God. And if doing justice is seeing the injustice done to my neighbor and doing something about it...something to care for, to soothe, to offer care, provision, comfort, an advocates voice, food and shelter... something, then that is what i must begin to do. and thus i cannot close my eyes.
The Darfur genocide is large and loud... it is systematic ethnic cleansing that demands an uprising of voices that cry out...Stop!
but there are other injustices...everywhere. in other parts of Sudan, in Uganda, and Burundi...All throughout Africa...There is global poverty that stuns and sorrows me, when i see a video clip stating that in the US, we spend 60 million dollars on cosmetics each year, and i know that it takes $1.00 to save a child from HIV/AIDS or only $1.00 to dig a well in Africa. And Monday, i found out that it costs only 16 cents to feed a Sudanese refugee for an entire day. i am not sure what to do with such staggering data. I do know that i have had to look at my spending habits, the things i buy without thinking, without pause or question...i cannot do so anymore...
Opening my eyes to injustice requires me to see that there is an industry of Human Trafficking that extends from Japan, China, through my father's homeland of Pakistan/India, Europe, the global South and even to the shores of the United States. Opneing my eyes to this injustice requires me to see that there is little outcry, that there is virtually no media coverage. In fact, there is more outrage and interest over a runaway bride, than one young woman, a child really, being sold into slavery and prostitution.
And closer to home, in my county, one of the richest areas in the United States, there are people with full time jobs, who cannot afford housing. There are many who cannot afford health care, there are children who are in unsafe homes and environments and the list of injustices goes on...and i haven't even mentioned the city of Washington DC, only 30 miles away.
I am overwhelmed. I do not know what my response is supposed to be. i know at times that being overwhelmed can result in me becoming paralyzed...unable to do anything at all, except to want to numb myself...pour myself a glass of wine and turn on the TV...to plug back into the Matrix so i do not have to know the truth or live in the land of the real!
Please understand, I am not against the enjoyment or pleasure of a good meal, good wine or even a great movie or an enjoyable evening with friends, for these are part of the truth and the real as well... i just know that both truths must remain on my radar screen, in my prayer life and on my daily agenda...
I know that I cannot do everything, but i can do something...and for now, on some days my something...is a blog post... while on other days it is planning a peace vigil... everyday it is wearing a green band, and a white ONE band, so that when people see them and ask what they are for i have an opportunity to share, (and for those of you who know me well... this is a real sacrifice, given my propensity for funky and fun bracelets... i mean "live strong" type bracelets have become all the rage, but they do not compliment many outfits...seriously! so i wear the white & green bands as an act of "doing justice..." even though they clash with most of my clothes ;D and prevent me from wearing the funky cool bracelets i have...
and even as i write those words i think to myself..."well maybe if you hadn't bought funky bracelets and had given the money to HIV/AIDS research..then you wouldn't think twice about the green/white bands...OK, note to self, no more bracelet purchases...but the green and white bands still wouldn't look great with my outfit;) (OK, see the mess that goes on inside my head ;D because now i am going to argue with myself in yet another vein, but it is really an important one in this whole justice conversation... so i will take it out of my brain, and thus parentheses and bring it to the table...)
regarding buying things for ourselves, enjoying the blessing we have... this is a hard one for me and i would love to hear your thoughts on this. i have learned a great deal from one of my friends at church, who loves Jesus, and is very involved in social justice, but is willing to embrace and enjoy the gifts of financial blessings in moderation. she seems very at peace when she buys something new. When i asked her about this she said it is because she and her husband have set aside a certain amount of money that they will use for living expenses, while other monies are designated for mission, tithes, etc. Thus when she purchases a new shirt or book, it is from designated funds, and she enjoys the purchase... this has helped me.
I have come to believe that we are not called to total denial of our wants, but that we are called to a lack of excess and overindulgence. I know that G-d calls us to provide for and care for the widows, orphans and aliens... and so i can buy a funky bracelet, wear it and enjoy it...without guilt, if i am a good steward of the money, time and other resources that G-d has given me... this is where i have settled for now, but i am wrestling with this, while living in an affluent suburb of DC, raising teenagers in the self indulgent, spoiled, excess oriented, "disposable everything" mentality culture ...this is hard stuff to talk about and live in the midst of...like i said, sometimes i want to close my eyes... but i know that i cannot do that ever again, so i welcome your thoughts/advice/input...
i know that this is a long, hard post... (thanks for reading this far) ...but it has been brewing and i guess it is part of why i have not written much of late... theology must move toward praxis...(a fancy way to say: our thinking and talking about G-d must translate into action...) and so as i have posted lots of info about Darfur, it is my way of moving toward action, and i guess this post is a bit of an offering of my thoughts about G-d and life with G-d in the midst of this glorious mess we call life...
I know that i have posted a number of times on the crisis in Darfur, Sudan and it is not because i have nothing else to post about... it is because the Genocide and other atroicities are real and tragic... and i cannot believe that it is happening in our lifetime, in our world! GENOCIDE...systematic, ethnic cleansing, rape used as a form of terror and warfare, government sponsored militias attacking villages and refugee camps, killing an entire generation of children, raping women and young girls, murdering the men and boys. This artwork is done by children of Darfur.
After the Holocaust, the world said, "Never Again!" And then after Cambodia, it said "Never Again" and after Bosnia & Rwanda the world paused briefly and said "Never Again!" Now Genocide is occuring AGAIN and will the world say, "Never Again, Again!?"
Growing up, i wondered "How America could remain silent during the Holocaust?" "How could we stand by and do nothing?!" "How could we not know?" i wondered aloud in history class... and yet, here i am, in America, and the same thing is happening again, and we are remaining silent, doing nothing, and we remain in the dark, again. How much media time was spent covering Michael Jackson's trial? Or Tom Cruise's new romance? verses the killing that has been taking place in Southern Sudan over the past two years, and even more recently, the Genocide of 400,000 lives in Darfur, Sudan? As I have looked around the news, i have found coverage only on the BBC, as the American News Media is consumed with other "more important" things.
I have only just recently woken up to the realities of the world and begun to look far beyond my own life, my own concerns and gain a bit of understanding of the call for Christians to be concerned and involved in issues of justice. I am learning in deeper ways how Jesus was always concerned with the marginalized, the excluded, the forgotten, the untouchables... the poor and needy and in these moments He spoke of the Kingdom of God being at Hand. This has new meaning for me as i am trying to understand more of what i am called to do and be as i seek to follow after the way of Jesus.
in that vein...
"Dear Sudan", is an interfaith campaign to support humanitarian relief in Sudan. Originating in Petaluma, CA the program, "Dear Sudan, Love Petaluma" purposed to raise enough money to feed 55,000 refuges in Sudan for one day- the population of Petaluma- Each Sudanese refugee requires only 16 cents per day for food provided through a program run by Church World Service. Their goal was $8,800 and they raised over $10,000.
Now the campaign has expanded to "Dear Sudan, Love..." and a new blog was launched today! They are hoping that many cities and towns will participate in this same type of effort...Imagine, only 16 cents per day for food! I am interested in this project, but need to put together a committee of folks who would be willing to spearhead this effort with me. If you are so inclined, please email me @ [email protected] and we will see if an interfaith-multi-church team can be put together in order to undertake such an endeavor. Read the story.
The Dear Sudan blog launch features the above painting, entitled "My Duty," by Beverly Collins, from her "The Invisible Women of Darfur" collection. Her text for this painting reads as follows: "My duty to God and my children is to bring forth the will to continue in the face of my oppression."
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